Captured Moments - Awaken In Love

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What a gift to experience this beauty. Alicia Keys

What a gift to experience this beauty. Alicia Keys your essence is exquisite. Your music and energy fills my heart and body with pure yumminess. What a surprise to have you come play 50 feet from where we were. You are a very bright light oozing with love and wisdom. Thank you for sharing your art and Being with us. I'm so grateful.

Thanks Ami for enjoying this as much as I did.

#aliciakeys #Charlotteamphitheater

#Yodaman you are the cutest. And I think this hair

#Yodaman you are the cutest. And I think this haircut is my best work yet.

Changed up this end of my porch. Now I have a love

Changed up this end of my porch. Now I have a lovely spot for morning study, meditation, and coffee. I love my porch.

Instagram post 18040656838356035

Instagram post 18040656838356035

Just the grounding I needed. All the good kind of

Just the grounding I needed.

All the good kind of sensory input.

Good morninng sun.

Good morninng sun.

I remember when I was leaving @nrsweb and the paci

I remember when I was leaving @nrsweb and the pacific NW, my heart felt sad that someday I knew it would feel like another lifetime. Today I was sharing the whitewater boating part of that lifetime with my friends here in Asheville. I dug into some albums and found this badass pic of me on the sticks. Pretty sure this is the Lochsa cuz I'm wearing my drysuit and there isn't any gear behind me strapped down . I loved the thrill of rowing cats in big water and picking my lines through canyons on 5 day river trips with my friends. Yes, it feels like a long time ago and it's huge part of my story and who I am. Grateful.

When you're super tired but you rally cuz you know

When you're super tired but you rally cuz you know this awaits.

Birthday week vaca. It's 64 and rainy so I'm feeli

Birthday week vaca. It's 64 and rainy so I'm feeling a little fire flame. Enjoying my coffee and listening to the birds chirp while the rain dances.

Blue is staying at Hotel Keach this week. It's so

Blue is staying at Hotel Keach this week. It's so great having her. Asha and her are 2mths apart and 8.5 years old.

Good God this exquisite plant lights up my whole b

Good God this exquisite plant lights up my whole being. The photo doesn't do it justice.

#goldnuggetchick

62 degrees, sunny, and the afternoon off. Felt so

62 degrees, sunny, and the afternoon off. Felt so good to ride my bike.

When you get an extra dose of @risingappalachia fr

When you get an extra dose of @risingappalachia from @castaneasounds! Sweet night. Really really sweet.

Tried a staring contest which he'll do for way lon

Tried a staring contest which he'll do for way longer than any dog or human I've ever met. But getting on his level just got him excited. He's cute, so I posted it.

#yodaman

Walking into my therapy appointment this morning w

Walking into my therapy appointment this morning was magical. Misty foggy sun rays. Wish the magic could of held. I can get almost physically frozen in a state of resistance, which presents for all kinds of reasons.

In over 20 years I have yet to figure out how to physically move out of that frozen state. I've had some success with a partner being physically close, me trusting them, and with encouraging words, small movements towards the thing I want to happen.

It's such a frustrating and disappointing experience. Feeling like I let myself and others down.

Resistance is always my biggest obstacle to move towards what I want. I don't know how to surrender to it. I don't know how to not resist it. I often can't figure out how it's serving me or how it once did. And I can't see why I won't let it go.

It's a quick chain reaction and loop between my mind and body that leads to feeling frozen. Other times it's there but more subtle and I don't even know I'm in resistance. I'm sure it began as a defense mechanism to try and keep me safe, now it just holds me prisoner.

This little light has made 8 revolutions around th

This little light has made 8 revolutions around the sun. Asha is doing really well these days. Plays a lot with her brother, sings all the time, snuggles me a bunch, and enjoys her hikes and jeep rides. I love you #Ashabear! Happy 8th birthday!

Feeling this one. 19.1mi of this was a route for a

Feeling this one. 19.1mi of this was a route for a group ride event I created for the group Ebike Riders of Asheville that I'm trying to get off the ground. I was a solo rider today, hoping to have some riders join me soon.

Got to visit with some dear friends, @thessasophia at the 25mi mark, at High Five Coffee on the river.

Beautiful day here in Asheville.

#ebikersofasheville #ebike #Asheville
@ebikeridersofasheville

I mean truly. It's a phenomenon. I could have go

I mean truly. It's a phenomenon. I could have gotten even more specific and said bathroom floors. Am I right?

Amen.

@glennondoyle @elizabeth_gilbert_writer

My first group ride with @mountain.haulers. I have

My first group ride with @mountain.haulers. I have no idea how many riders there were, but a ton. The ride with the group was 12.5mi, the extra is me riding to and from the start. I knew riding with a pack would be fun but I didn't expect it to be this much fun. Yay! And a real treat after the week I've had.

My heart broke apart today. Sometimes I wonder if

My heart broke apart today.
Sometimes I wonder if I have enough love, courage, and resilience to walk my path with grace and integrity. I feel like I'm at a huge crossroads. When I choose to participate in activities or go somewhere that is discriminating against me and so many others, is that choosing, an act of self sabotage? Am I giving my permission and blessing to be discriminated against?

This photo was taken earlier today. This a Barb. She is part of my therapy team. I was not in therapy, but at a training clinic... And yet, Barb was helping me regulate. Listening to her rip and chew the grass was helping me stay present to the moment and help my nervous system which was pretty disregulated. The breeze was cool on my skin, which was a nice contrast to the sun's warmth. The beauty of this place in these mountains is breathtaking. I'm grateful for these things.

I feel deep sadness, frustration, and disappointment tonight. I feel like part of my gift and purpose in this nutty earth experience has always been being 'a bridge'. The ability to straddle different worlds and bring understanding and shifts of perspective. These days it doesn't feel like a gift, it feels like a burden. Like the bridge is trying to connect 2 continents separated by vast amounts of space and time. Perhaps it's time to stop building bridges and see what else creation wants to bring forth through me. And to love myself enough that self sabotage is a part of my history, not my future.

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