So I have been further thinking about my last post (Love – A New Way ) and about how the emotion most humans seem to be directed by is fear. It shows its face by other names such as anger, hurt, anxiety, and sadness so most of us don’t even realize that it is fear that controls our lives and dictates so much of our behavior. Fear leads to reactionary actions vs. pro-active actions. I mentioned how it is deeply embedded in us, that it is our fabric. The thing is, this is still just a layer that sits on top of who we really are – love.
Fear has its place in our lives. It is there to physically help us save ourselves from real imminent danger. There are many scientists who study this and show that what humans have done is hold onto the fear that first ignites and we don’t let it go. It lingers, and then continuously gets triggered on low levels that keeps it going. It’s as if our bodies are confused and we no longer can separate real danger from paranoid behavior. So often when real fear kicks in we ignore it, dismissing it as only in our heads. Often times you’ll hear stories where people say things like, my gut was telling me I shouldn’t have gone down that street, but I did anyway, and ended up getting robbed. It’s important for us to understand that we need to start letting go of all the false fear so that when we really are in danger we can trust it.
When I say that fear sits on top of who we really are – love, this comes from seeing our true basic instincts we display as a species at the most horrific times. Times most people talk about as tragedies. Life seems to be all about learning lessons and growing from our experiences. It seems that tragedies provide such a wakeup call to help us expand in our growth and help us see who we really are – love. Part of me is starting to think that if we understood and expressed ourselves as who we really are, the world would shift and we wouldn’t need so many lessons in tragedy to wake us up.
Let me explain further what I mean by tragedies, lessons, and ultimately love. A close friend of mine asked me to think and write down some positive things that exist or come about surrounding 10 events that most people would call tragedies. As I began my list and got half way through, I started seeing patterns emerge. My lists were blending together to where I was seeing the same positive outcomes for a variety of different tragedies. It was an eye opening experience. In the end, if I wanted to sum up the list of positive affects in one word it would be love. Tragedies give us lessons in letting go and loving one another. The good news is that we don’t need tragedies to learn these lessons, we just have to acknowledge and practice love and compassion for ourselves and each other every day all day long.
Here is the list I came up with (in no particular order). It’s certainly not complete and I welcome anyone to help add to my list.
- Empathy is evoked and used
- People coming together in support (locally to globally)
- The instinct to help others comes through immediately (even putting your own life in danger)
- People are forced to change their lives in a new direction – new beginnings
- Lots of rebirth and rebuilding happens
- People awaken to life being short …live it to the fullest, don’t take it so seriously, make your dreams happen
- Appreciation and gratitude are felt for all that you have right now
- Vocalization of your love for the people in your life
- Massive call of prayers for love, healing, strength
- People realize the importance of forgiving and letting go of the small stuff
- Opportunity to get stronger and for your strength and perseverance to shine
- The realization that even in tragedy there are always choices for how you think about something
So again, like my previous post, I ask you, what if love really can change the world for the better? What if we started with ourselves and our family and friends. Talking to ourselves and one another as if we are talking to a small child – using loving, encouraging, and supportive language. When we attack ourselves, we attack the world. When we love ourselves, we love the world. It spreads, it’s a ripple effect. What ripple to you want to be starting or be caught up in – love or fear?
Are lessons seem to be always guiding us towards forgiveness, letting go, acceptance, and non-judgment. If we don’t start with ourselves we will continue to see, encourage, and live in fear, violence, and retaliation. Are you ready to see if love is the answer?