I write with a heavy body…heavy limbs, heavy head, heavy heart. I feel the enourmous weight of the event that happened at the Boston Marathon. I feel the weight for those who lost their lives, those that were wounded, those that witnessed it, the family and friends of all those involved…I also feel the weight for those that attacked, their family and friends…and I feel the weight for humanity. It is heavy, my breathing is labored, I find myself blankly staring even as I type.
I am sad, so very sad.
People always ask why when there is tragedy. It seems to be a common question for that which doesn’t seem to have a clear answer. Or perhaps it’s a question that arises because we can’t undersand the depth of the real reason. Why did it happen? Why did innocent people lose their lives? Why do people hate that much that they attack? Why…
I can’t say for certain I understand all the whys, but I feel like I am beginning to understand the fabric beneath them. When I speak of this fabric I am often not heard. It appears to be human nature to resist change, to stay within our narrow boxes, and encourage others to do the same.
To me the fabric is in such plain view and so simple, we miss it. Our minds (our egoic minds) do a good job with keeping us separated – from ourselves and each other. It divides and gives levels to just about everything. It gives us the illusion that there are various degrees in which we can love and hate. However, if you look at the history of humanity as far back as recorded, you will see the the same patterns of destruction over and over again. Attack & Revenge, Villain & Hero, and Good Guys & Bad Guys. There are examples that seem small like a playground bullying fight vs setting off a bomb, but there in lies the danger of the illusion. The small can lead to the big. The small things can add up. We don’t treat the playground fight as an act of violence as we do a bombing. This is where the various degrees can hurt us. Violence is violence and will perpetuate violence in some way, some how, and keep the fabric in status quo.
So what is the fabric? The fabric is Fear. The fabric is lack of Love.
It is deep this fabric. So deep that we don’t even see that we partake in it everyday. Every single one of us. That we have built systems, beliefs, even religions around it to perpetuate it.
Everything about what it means to be human seems to involve inflicting pain on others as well as receiving it. Is this not the case? Doesn’t peace only seem to be a fleeting temporary state?
So my question is this – If fear, hatred, attack, unrest, unworthy, unloved and pain seem to be what we continue to think, feel, and create, how do we ever expect to have a different world? How do you expect or make change happen if you continue to do the same thing every generation has done in the past?
Unloving is our fabric….humanities fabric…and it runs deep.
So what’s the alternative? What is the opposite of all those things? Love, worthiness, forgiveness, contentment, joy? Why are we so easy to say those things can’t actually change the world? Has the world ever tried it…I mean really tried it? Who is the world? The world us… you and I. How many people do you know who live their lives every moment feeling loved, worthy, forgiven, contented, and joyful? Who in turn love, forgive, and spread joy every moment? So can we say that Love doesn’t actually work? That Love really can’t change the world?
I know I like to be around people who continue to work on themselves to feel loved, worthy, forgiven and joyful. Why? Because there is a peace about them most times. If they attack they quickly mend. They spread joy and love versus fear and attack. These people are the only examples I have to say that there is something to this ‘peace’ thing. That it can change the fabric.
If we want to change this world, we have to do something different…drastically different. The fabric needs to change. You can’t bring peace to the world if you are at war with yourself. You can’t teach your children to be kind to others and then berate and put down yourself…they cancel each other out. We aren’t kind to others Because we aren’t kind to ourselves.
So why not give peace and love a real shot at changing the world. Start by just telling yourself it could actually work. That Love really could be the answer. After all, deep in our souls we always have hope in the hero and heroin…that the good guy/gal will save the day. You are the hero and heroin. You are worthy, loved, and forgiven, every moment of every day. Forgive yourself and others for the things of the past. Talk to yourself as you would lovingly talk to your child. Stop the negative self-talk when it arises and replace it with something gentle and kind.
Changing the fabric, your fabric, is an act of commitment. It takes practice to change…but change does happen.
Let Love be your beacon. Ask for it to show you the way. Imagine how that could shift your life, your family, your community, the world.
I believe Love is the answer and when enough of humanity believes this too, we will see the fabric shift and there will be a lot less Whys to ask.
“…Imagine all the people living life in peace…
You, you may say
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one…”
~John Lennon
Additional
Note: I want to state that our ego mind is what has created all this fear and unrest. At our core we are love and loving. So using Love as a beacon is just to help us find our way back home. We are not inherently evil or fearful we are the opposite.