“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.”
~Author Frederick Buechner
I resonate with this definition of compassion, deeply. Most definitions talk about having sympathy or pity for those that suffer. Some involve taking action to help those that are suffering. They all allude to the same concept but I like Frederick’s the most because it takes the idea a step further. He gets to the concept that if there is suffering in someone else there will be suffering in me. I would take it a step further and even say if there is suffering in me there will be suffering extended out towards others.
When I think of compassion I think of action. I think of being the voice for the voiceless. I think of healing. I think of love and peace. I think of unity. I think of embracement and acceptance. I think that without it, we hurt, we suffer, we are in a state of unrest.
I am coming to understand the depth of my understanding and sensitivity around the concept of compassion. How without it there is much pain and suffering in all of the world.
Just like many things, as humans we cherry pick what we want to take part in and then justify with endless reasons for why it’s not necessary to take part in the whole. I do this all the time with things and realize my number one justification in my reasoning is ‘balance.’ Everything in moderation and balance right? Does that really work for me? Does that really work for making the world a better place?
When I think about the pain we inflict upon ourselves, each other, the animals & insects of the world, and the destruction of our planet, the justification of balance just seems weak. Really weak. It’s ok to talk negatively to myself sometimes because sometimes I deserve it, right? It’s ok to back huge development shopping malls that displace the wildlife that lives there because the one down the street is 5 miles away and it’s just not convenient for me, right? It’s ok for me to be an ass to the person at the checkout counter because I’ve had a stressful day, right? It’s ok for me to take fish out of creek and stick them in a jar so that I can observe them closer even if they’ll die, right?
I’ve always had lots of colorful adjectives associated to my lifestyle. Extreme, high-maintenance, too much, inspiring, crazy, un-natural, weird….the list goes on. I’ve defended myself a time or two against these ‘names’ because they alienate me from feeling human like everyone else. I am human; here to learn, grow, and hopefully leave the world better than I found it. I am starting to fully embrace these adjectives because I’m realizing that without them I would continue to make more excuses like the ones listed above that encourage practices that lack compassion.
I’m embracing that being extreme is pushing the boundaries of status quo. Perhaps there needs to be extreme to make real shifts related to the paradigm we are living in which is one of fear, anger, pain and destruction. I want the paradigm to shift to one of love, peace and unity. It’s funny how so many of those adjectives listed above are used towards me as a put down, not a compliment. I am working on turning them all into compliments. After all it’s my filter and perception and those are good qualities to have for the work I’m here to do.
An area that I’ve come to shift in a major way is related to animals and other living beings outside of the human species. I would like us to shift our thinking that we can use other species in whatever ways we want for whatever reasons. I feel like there is an extreme lack of compassion to other living organisms. If we want more peace in our lives we have to be gentle with ourselves, each other, and all living beings. We can’t justify that it’s ok to hurt some people and some animals and not others. That it’s ok to be mean to ourselves because we deserve it. Everything has a ripple effect. How does a child learn the meaning of compassion and kindness if they aren’t allowed to kick their dog, but they can put a frog in a jar and watch it until it dies in the name of learning? Those are mixed messages. Messages that have consistently led to racism and slavery of all kinds of people and now animals. When we find reasons why it’s ok to treat some beings kindly and others in terrible ways, you get the world in which we currently live.
I will continue to be extreme for love and for healing. Compassion is a tool in which that takes place. It is deeply needed in our homes, in our workplaces, in our governments in our food chains, and in all of our relationships with other living things. When do you pick and choose when compassion should be invoked? What are your reasons? Does that work for you? Are your actions in line with your beliefs? These are the questions I ask myself all the time. They help get at the root of what I believe and want and encourage my actions to follow. Perhaps they can help you too get to a more peaceful place within your heart and in the world.